There are many physical signs a partner is cheating, including random and new smells on clothes and flesh, rapid change in work hours and extra activities, hours unaccounted for, sudden desire to hide phone messages and social media accounts etc… and we have discussed these and many more in our previous blogs and podcasts. However, this blog will focus on the mental signs you may notice which are signs pointing to a potential cheating spouse. 

1- A lack of passion. 

Your spouse seems bored with you, bored with their job, bored with the kids, bored with once enthralling hobbies, and bored with their life in general. When passion shifts towards another person, everything else can appear dull and boring. This new sense of boredom could be the direct result of passion for someone else and a wanting to be out of the current situation. 

2- Erratic behaviour

A sudden urge to seek danger and excitement. 

You may notice your spouse seems to want to experience danger or make risky decisions in their life. This may include reckless behaviour, aggressive language.

3- Sudden lack of sexual intimacy or desire.

You may sense a dramatic decline in intimacy and connection in your relationship. This can happen when the fires of sexual desire are being stoked somewhere else. 

4- Sudden increase in sexual intimacy and desire

You feel strong and sudden changes by your spouse in your sex life together. A dramatic increase, sexual action and attraction. This will often come as a result of guilt by your spouse and expresses itself in giving you extra attention and attempts at satisfaction.

5- A change in bedroom behaviour.

You may notice your spouse bring new things into the bedroom that were never there before. Whether that be bringing in toys/positions/other people/fantasies. 

6- Self-doubt and depression.

You may see your spouse express feelings of self-doubt and exhibit low self-esteem. This can be due to the shifting mindset of your spouse and their desire to actually admit what is going on behind the scenes.

7- Lack of ownership of your relationship.

You notice your spouse doesn’t express any jealousy regarding who you spend your time with, and a general lack of care about how you spend your time. They aren’t caring about your relationship or their role in keeping a relationship healthy.

8- Confusing conversation and behaviour.

Often, a mental sign of a potential cheater could be that you may notice your spouse has a sense of confusion and delusion about themselves. They change their mind about what they are thinking, feeling, who they have been with and where they have been and gone.

9- Distraction.

Your spouse may seem constantly or easily distracted and unable to focus. They may be unable to sit and have simple conversations with, be fidgety and dart from one thing to the next without going too deep. This may be because they want to keep things shallow, and any depth in conversation they feel will reveal the truth about what they are up to and their cheating ways.

Of course these mental behaviours could simply be triggered by other factors like stress, grief, tiredness, hormones. But a combination of these mental behaviours could also point to a potential cheating partner. Remember, it’s not worth making any drastic decisions or accusations until you have ultimate truth of a betrayal by a spouse. We can definitely assist in obtaining evidence which cannot be denied or explained away, giving you total peace of mind. 

Contact us if you’d like to discuss further.